Ritual 48: Monday, November 26, 2007

Waning Moon

The time of "shoulds" is upon us. I should do this before the year ends. I should do this over the holidays. I should call my mother. I should take better care of my body. I should start planning my new year's resolutions so I can carry a weight of shoulds for the whole next year!

Shoulds take up an incredible amount of mental and emotional space. They are the noises that crop up during moments of rest. They hang out on the psychic to-do list, preventing us from enjoying the present moment.

Shoulds are ambivalent little buggers, too. On the one hand, they represent our aspirations and inner wisdom. "I should take out the trash" means the trash needs to be taken out and I'm the one to do it. On the other hand, shoulds are internalized expectations often handed to us from other people. "I should go to this party" can signify a burdensome social contract that does not reflect our true needs or desires.

On this waning moon evening, examine your lists of shoulds. Take out a piece of paper and write at the top "I SHOULD". Now free-write for 5 minutes on all the shoulds that come to mind.

Whew. It feels good to just get it out on paper. Less clutter for the noggin.

These shoulds shouldn't (forgive the joke) surprise you. The question remains: now that they're here in front of your very eyes, what do you want to do about them?

Pick one should from your list. Just one. Ask yourself: Do I want to do this? Do I have to do this? Will I do this? If the answer to all three of these questions is yes, then either do it right away as part of your Moonday magic, or put it in your planner and commit to it with the passion I know you're capable of! If, however, you answered no to any of these questions, take a pause...

If your desire and your will are aligned, it doesn't matter if you have to do something. The action will find its way through you. The only question is when. Give yourself the gift of handling the should right now or scheduling it in your planner.

Problems arise when you feel you have to do something, but your will and/or your desire are not aligned with it. You may recognize this sense of obligation as a clenching in your stomach, a weight in your heart, or some other unpleasant physical sensation.

Dig into this should which you feel you must do, but which you won't or don't want to do. Do you really have to do it? What will happen if you don't do it? Who will benefit if you do it? Who will benefit if you don't do it? And finally ask this question: what is the truth inside your heart?

It may be that this should is not something you really need to do at all and the wise soul inside knows it. In this case, use the power of the waning moon to let it go.

Shrinking moon, shrink this should.
I shed this weight for the greatest good.

After the ritual, share your experience in our community section.