Ritual 20: Monday, May 14, 2007

Waning Moon

As a family-oriented holiday, yesterday's Mother's Day may have brought you feelings of celebration, obligation, or something in between. Even those of us with harmonious relationships with our moms often carry small resentment or out-right blame over their failure to nurture us in all the right ways. If only my mother had X, then I wouldn't have this problem. If only mom had taught me Y, I wouldn't be struggling like this. If my mother had been better at Z, then I would be better at... You get the picture.

Today's magic uses waning moon energy to help us give up the blame game and get on with our glorious lives. It'll also have a rippling effect of energetically freeing your mother to get on with her own glorious life (or after-life, if she's no longer on earth).

You'll need a fireplace or a fireproof pan to work your mojo this eve. You're hunching right that you'll be burning something. Gather your matches, some paper and a pen.

Roll up your heart-sleeves and take a gander at what you may be harboring about your mom that inhibits your growth or her growth. Or at what you use as an excuse for things not being the way you'd like them to be in your life.

Mothers are human. Like all humans (like you and me) they make mistakes. We want them to be perfect nurturing goddesses — and oh how they try, to the best of their ability. Maybe your mom's ability was a 2 on a scale of one to 10, maybe an 8. However you'd rate her, know that she did the very best she could. It may not have been enough at the time, but you made it. Here you are, reading this ritual, breathing. And here's your opportunity to lighten your load.

If your load is already light, so to speak, then your Moonday magic is to write a letter of praise to your mother. Use lots of specific details of what a good job she did. And send it to her!

But if you can tell you're carrying a sack of mad or clinging to a lingering shadow, there's a different sort of letter for you to write. It is very important to express our truths, our indignities, our outrages before we let them go. Now is your opportunity to express it on paper. Get it off of your back and onto the page.

Dear Mom... and keep writing 'til you're done.

Now take a deep breath. Whew!

Prepare to let go all this old stuff. But first a reality check: Will you forgive your mom for all of her mistakes?

For the culmination of this ritual, you'll need a statement that reflects your true level of forgiveness at this time. If you can honestly say, "I forgive," great! If not, back away from the core of that notion by degrees until you discover your resonant truth: I am willing to forgive. I am willing to consider forgiving. I may one day be willing to consider forgiving.

Use this statement as a chant and... ready, set, let it go up in flames (in your fireplace or fireproof pot, of course).

Fire is the great transformer. As the flames consume your words, the fire of emotion is released. Feel yourself lighter for letting go.

After the ritual, share your experience in our community section.